Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Red Shift

Cosmic infinities could not have contained
our purposeless love.

Galaxies around us could not have sheltered
our twilight hopes.

Our only misgiving was an expanding universe
harboring darker halves of us all.

We are but nothingness living an enlightened accident,
Moving away from each other since our birth.

Sunday, 18 February 2018


This is the first of a series of stories (hopefully) which I like to call 'Flutter'. I believe you can gauge the intent of these stories once you read them.



Ameena would lie down in her balcony on days like these, wondering where she came from and what her purpose was in life. Aluva river, in front of her, peacefully flowing onto the Arabian Sea would reflect starry skies above. She felt intimately related to the celestial peace which descended around her; moon in the distance, lights from the airport, and the ever benevolent silence. She could imagine the farthest extents of Universe right here in this negligible point in a negligible Earth, for that she was thankful.

The chicken curry her husband threw on her face still burned her eyes and nose, it was spicy alright. He used a word to describe it specifically and her existence generally, she couldn't help but think about it. How would he know what that word means to her, how would he know what that word means to humanity. This was not the first time he reproached her using words she considered pure, but then she was aware of how present parlance brands her puritan words as derogatory.

Ameena.. She loved her name, but then twenty seven years of married life made her forget the tunes of those syllables - jumping up, sliding free and hitting a sudden stop! Ameena.. Her eyes watered when she tried to remember how her Umma would call her 'Ameenakutti', it was so long back that it seemed non-existent now.

She grew tired after a while and tiptoed her way back to bed. The air conditioner in the room made a cranky noise as it threw cold artificial air into the room. She remembered how disturbed she used to be when her Vaapa would buy her leather bags and costly deodorants, she would smile and accept it all the same, she barely knew another way to behave.

Once in bed Ameena twisted and turned for a long time; she tried burying her face in her pillow, she tried pushing her head towards her breasts, she tried singing herself lullabies. There was an eruption of something uncontainable inside, she had to find vents to release it. How pitiably he used that word, she thought.

"Khaled.." she called. "Khaled.."

Khaled usually detests when his sleep is disturbed, but then Ameena never did a thing like this before, he was as perturbed as he was angry.

"What is it?" he shouted.

She got up and switched on the light, looking him sternly in the face, her eyes held fires that devoured any words he had to offer. He sat transfixed.

Ameena wanted to be precise on this, she didn't want to hold anything back or shout anything new. She wanted it to be clear and certain, while making sure it portrays the uproar inside. She knew she shouldn't make it too stern so that she burns herself out completely or too soft that she may seem magnanimous. She gathered words in her mind and slowly brought it out of her mouth.

"You and I were born out of a vagina too, my love.." she said and gently walked back to the balcony.

Tuesday, 13 February 2018


Who can gauge,
The depths of human mind in thought,
Effervescent streams of velvet hope,
Red-shifting music that sink souls in thriving pools
of celestial re-births and re-discoveries.

Who can fathom,
The distances a migrating bird must fly,
Vagaries and silence of lives beneath,
The art of a rare chemical dance
and its unpronounced everyday evolutions,
A story of recurring dreams,
Painted with dark nostalgic loves left behind.

Who can put to words,
The grandeurs of extinct universes,
Their sunlit banks, their wonderous cosmic evenings,
Beginning of life, death of stars and a heroic force,
Working upon primordial imperfections,
To build home as we know it now.

Sunday, 4 February 2018


I heard you say my truths are veiled lies,
I heard you say my mind is crooked and high,
I heard you say people detest my chronic rhymes,
I heard you say what am I but my routine jibes,
I heard you say nobody follows my divergent vibes,
I heard you say fuck yourself, go and die.

But my dear, these insecurities, they are mine,
Mock me, choke me, sock me, I will live my life!

Saturday, 3 February 2018


I contain
multiple loves.

I love how wet earth
drags her alluring lips
on my hardened cheeks,
I love silent mountains
shouting unused truths,
I love my mother's milk
and memories of her breasts,
I love your hands
when they entangled mine.

It stagnates
as avenues shrink,
Souls to receive it
reclines self-seeking,
Equally alone as I maybe.

My fathomless loves
rot and infect,
Turns malignant,
Soak and wrinkle
I dribble blood.

Everything I love
kills me a little more.

Tuesday, 30 January 2018


Let my words be flawless today,
Clear as silver stream,
Fresh as morning spring,
Let it reach you
toiling through doubts in your mind,
Let it move along your turbulent vistas,
Where piety had made melancholic tombs,
And proceeds of war made wounds that can't be healed,
Where I once made my abode severing your rueful constraints.

Let my words reach there again,
As an ending quote,
Or maybe a wholesome resurgence,
Like light following an eclipse,
Like land after years of sea,
Let my words make meanings,
For long it was only noise - farcical moonshine,
Today let it be plain and from my hardened heart,
Let it leave no doubt, no points to guess,
No rhyming sentences, no superficial nonsense.

I want it straight,
As pure as my perpetual longing,
As unfettered as my resurrecting love,
Evading your shallow pools of dubiety,
Caressing the happiness we shared
and the grief we forgot,
Let it touch the nights we laid awake,
Let it bring rainbows for our storms,
Let it stay there etched,
In the sky, by the shore
and on snowcapped moons.

For today I want you to know,
That I am here and I will be waiting for you,
Through rain, snow, spring and fall,
Through tears, smiles, laughs and fears,
Through days, months, years and time,
All my life,
I will be here,
And I will be waiting.

Saturday, 20 January 2018


What good are stars my love,
If I cannot talk about them
to you?
What good is the moon,
Upon whose silver canvas
the dreams we drew,
If you cannot see?
What good are journeys,
Miles I walk,
Galaxies and heat deaths,
If it isn't you that I reach?
What good are memories,
Travels in time,
Like pulsars in bleak space,
If I cannot find your laughs amidst?

What good are spaceships,
If there are only voids
that I may reach?